Possibly triggering post with talks of mental health, symptoms, and a brief mention of self harm. Consider this your warning.
I’m going to be candid with you. I have a mental illness. Actually, I’ve got several. I’m diagnosed with major depressive disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, PTSD, and show symptoms of OCD. All according to psychiatrists and therapists that I’ve seen over the years. I actually have another appointment soon to be seen again because things are becoming hard. Again.
I’ve been medicated and un-medicated. I’ve tried natural remedies and I’ve tried spiritual remedies. And I’ve got this to say: Spirituality, religion, and magick are not replacements for medical providers. Now that isn’t to say that magick and spiritual practices can’t help, but they shouldn’t be used as the sole source of healing unless you’re also being followed by some sort of behavioral health provider that knows what you’re doing to help and feels that it is working.
I’ve suffered through times of major meltdown; I mean, ask my partner and he’ll tell you about the time I locked myself in the bathroom and sobbed on the floor. Gut-wrenching sobs that wracked my entire body. Or the times where I had flashbacks and felt a physiological response to something that wasn’t a threat. My parents would be able to tell you the warning signs from when I was young. Everything from uncontrollable sadness to the self-harm behavior I exhibited. Everyone’s experience is different, but I do know that when I’m having a low, either depression based or anxiety based, I lose all interest in everything. Even my faith. So in that context, how is my faith supposed to help me if my brain can’t remember the joy and peace that it brings me?
Within Wicca, we often think of it as a religion that brings us love, light, and peace. But what about those of us that don’t always have that mindset? Those of us who experience debilitating sadness, uncontrollable mania, and sudden anxiety? You’re not alone in the struggle if you experience these things. Wicca and religion in general can help you cope, but they should never be used as a treatment in itself. There’s a lot of people out there who believe that if you just cleanse yourself of negativity, meditate, and go for a walk, you’ll be fine. I’m here to tell you what a load of bullshit that is. If you have the strength and courage to open up to people about your struggles with mental health and you’re met with those responses, kindly tell them to piss off. And if you have no one to open up to, reach out to me. I will be an ear to listen and a virtual shoulder for you to cry on. I will not tolerate anyone who uses Wicca or magick as a cure-all. Because it isn’t.