Category: Personal Writing

Be the Change

We but mirror the world. All the tendencies present in the outer world are to be found in the world of our body. If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him. This is the divine mystery supreme. A wonderful thing it is and the source of our happiness. We need not wait to see what others do.

Month at a Glance: July 2019

Month at a Glance: July 2019

The Wild Unknown Tarot Deck

What better way to kick off Independence Day than with a Month at a Glance reading? Here’s mine for the month, and I thought I’d share it all with you.

July is a month of possibilities and creativity. With all four cards pulled being Wands, my creativity and inspiration are at the front. However, I need to pull together at get things done in the real world and quit letting everything reside in my mind.

The theme for the month of July is represented by the 7 of Wands. It stands tall and courageous, alone and lit standing in the crowd. I need to watch out for moments this month where my courage will be tested and a lack of support will feel apparent. This serves as a reminder to always stand up for myself, my beliefs, and my creations.

Past influences affecting July for me are represented by the 6 of Wands, a beautiful blue butterfly flying to be free. My newfound creativity, inspiration, and ambition from the past months will help to catapult me forward this month and continue the change on the path to where I want to go.

Roadblocks for this month are represented by the 8 of Wands. With this card, lightning strikes swiftly, lashing out at the creativity and inspiration represented by the wands gathered in a circle. Change is going to happen, whether I like it or not, and I need to go with the flow and not let the change hinder me. It is a part of life, and though resisting it might seem like a good idea, it never ends well.

Lastly, the possibilities of the month are represented by the 4 of Wands. This card shows me that as long as I keep pushing forward and remember the advice that I’ve been given, celebration is possible. Success in what I love is possible. I just need to remember my roots, my change, and my ambitions.


Overall it seems like July is going to be a very promising month!

Want to get your Month at a Glance for July? I’m offering July readings up until July 7th through my shop. Any purchase made after July 7th will be for August.

Click here to get your own reading!


Self Hatred is Poisoning Us All

Self Hatred is Poisoning Us All

Find the peace in your heart.

Self love and self confidence is a long and often hard road full of shadow work, fear, and stress. The unknown is a scary thing, and in today’s world we are bombarded with words and imagery that make us question our self love. We are taught to hate ourselves, because hate is fuel for the fire of capitalism. If we didn’t hate our bodies, cosmetic surgery wouldn’t be necessary. If we didn’t hate our waist size then diet fads, waist trainers, diet pills, and all those other products that are sold to us to make us love ourselves wouldn’t be necessary.

I don’t believe that you have to learn to love yourself before you can love others. In fact, it could quite possibly be the other way around. I love my boyfriend with every fiber of my heart and soul. I love my child the same. And my friends and other family. But I still struggle with self love on a daily basis. I constantly find myself thinking that I need to be thinner, have longer hair, be softer spoken, be fragile and meak. Because these are the images that we are fed every single day.

So how do we fight that? How can we fight the nagging, meanness, and intrusiveness of our self hatred and self loathing? If we can easily love other people, why is it so hard to love ourselves? I think it all boils down to two things: human nature and our capitalist society.

It’s human nature to want to fit in with the crowd. It was a survival strategy from centuries ago when it was necessary to be like everyone else or risk being shunned, kicked out of the herd, and dying on our own. The same thing happens now. Teens, young children, and even adults have been conditioned to follow the crowd. That it’s detrimental to our survival to stand out from the crowd and be different.

It also has a lot to do with our capitalist society. The images and words we are fed are picked up by the “in” crowd, whomever that may be, and distributed to the world through any influence possible. These things are then seen as what is normal and expected of the “herd” and we feel obligated to follow the crowd.

It can be a hard habit to break if it’s the way you’ve been living your entire life, and at this point it might be something you do on a subconscious level. The first step to breaking this cycle of self hatred is understanding why you believe the things you do about yourself. Is it a legitimate feeling? Or is it something you feel because society has told you that’s how you should feel? Your shadow harbors those answers, and shadow work plays a part in the process of unraveling these ideas.

Take me for example. I have always struggled with my weight and body image, ever since I was in 7th grade. For my non-US readers, that’s about 12 years old. I remember coming back from summer and being told by a classmate, that I still remember her name, “Wow Megan, you got fat”. This has stuck with me since then, and that was 15 years ago!

I’ve done fad diets, taken diet pills, fasted, spent 3+ hours in the gym at a time. And for what? I was still unhappy because I was being fed the images of thin beautiful women that I never even had a chance to look like because let’s face it, even they don’t look like their pictures.

It wasn’t until I worked on myself recently and switched my mindset from beauty standards to my own health and happiness that I was able to let go of those societal pressures. And guess what? I’m still a work in progress, and that’s ok!

So next time you have those negative thoughts, imagine that instead you were saying those things to the person you love most in the world. Would you say those things to them? No? So then why would you say it to yourself? Practice that, and begin your journey out of self hatred and into self love.

Spring has Sprung

I don’t know what it is about this seasonal transition, but it has always been one of my favorites. I love walking outside in the morning and seeing the sky turn shades of orange and pink. The smell of new-blooming flowers. The scent of crisp morning dew on the grass.

It is strange to me that I feel nostalgia during this season. Growing up in Southern California meant that Spring lasted for a couple weeks and then we were back up to weathering the triple digit heat for 5 more months before the temperatures dipped back down below 70F.

Springtime has always made me a bit nostalgic and homesick. For where, I’m not sure. That happens to me a lot. Maybe its the melting snow. The slowly warming air. The chirping of the birds flying through the trees, swooping down to land on our bird feeder. Maybe I’m homesick for Mother Goddess, to be embraced in her eternal Springtime with the fertile land, and Father God in his warm rays of sunshine. Who knows, but I enjoy this time of the year.


Wicca and Mental Health

Wicca and Mental Health

Possibly triggering post with talks of mental health, symptoms, and a brief mention of self harm. Consider this your warning. 

I’m going to be candid with you. I have a mental illness. Actually, I’ve got several. I’m diagnosed with major depressive disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, PTSD, and show symptoms of OCD. All according to psychiatrists and therapists that I’ve seen over the years. I actually have another appointment soon to be seen again because things are becoming hard. Again.

I’ve been medicated and un-medicated. I’ve tried natural remedies and I’ve tried spiritual remedies. And I’ve got this to say: Spirituality, religion, and magick are not replacements for medical providers. Now that isn’t to say that magick and spiritual practices can’t help, but they shouldn’t be used as the sole source of healing unless you’re also being followed by some sort of behavioral health provider that knows what you’re doing to help and feels that it is working.

I’ve suffered through times of major meltdown; I mean, ask my partner and he’ll tell you about the time I locked myself in the bathroom and sobbed on the floor. Gut-wrenching sobs that wracked my entire body. Or the times where I had flashbacks and felt a physiological response to something that wasn’t a threat. My parents would be able to tell you the warning signs from when I was young. Everything from uncontrollable sadness to the self-harm behavior I exhibited. Everyone’s experience is different, but I do know that when I’m having a low, either depression based or anxiety based, I lose all interest in everything. Even my faith. So in that context, how is my faith supposed to help me if my brain can’t remember the joy and peace that it brings me?

Within Wicca, we often think of it as a religion that brings us love, light, and peace. But what about those of us that don’t always have that mindset? Those of us who experience debilitating sadness, uncontrollable mania, and sudden anxiety? You’re not alone in the struggle if you experience these things. Wicca and religion in general can help you cope, but they should never be used as a treatment in itself. There’s a lot of people out there who believe that if you just cleanse yourself of negativity, meditate, and go for a walk, you’ll be fine. I’m here to tell you what a load of bullshit that is. If you have the strength and courage to open up to people about your struggles with mental health and you’re met with those responses, kindly tell them to piss off. And if you have no one to open up to, reach out to me. I will be an ear to listen and a virtual shoulder for you to cry on. I will not tolerate anyone who uses Wicca or magick as a cure-all. Because it isn’t.

/rant


Yule 2018 – Finding our Tree

This past weekend, we went on an adventure. Here in Central Oregon you have the ability to purchase a permit to go cut your own tree down rather than paying the $50-ish dollars for the ones they bring in specifically to sell. So, that’s what we did!

With my dad in the driver seat, we drove up through Sisters, OR, to the national forest. We took one of the forest roads up to the top of one of the mountains with the forest roads covered in snow. The dog had an amazing time running around in the snow, sniffing all the things. The child had fun too, running around in the snow and looking at all the trees. She shook a tree covered in snow and had a good laugh when the snow on the branches landed all over her head. 

Eventually we found the tree that we thought would be perfect for us. My dad and my boyfriend spotted it first, so we pulled over to the side of the forest road while they got out of the truck and made sure the tree was acceptable and didn’t break any of the rules. They said it was good, and we got out and helped them get it down and into the back of the truck. 

The rest of the evening was spent trimming it to get it into the house, eating chili made from a family recipe, and decorating the tree. My family celebrates Christmas while I celebrate Yule, but that doesn’t stop us all from enjoying the season and holidays together! 

Do you have any plans for Yule or the Winter Solstice?

Also, stay tuned for the Yule Special podcast episode, coming to Patreon next week for the patrons, and December 17th for everyone else!

Contemplation

Contemplation

I’ve been thinking over the last few days about where I want to take my YouTube channel. The simple fact for me is that its hard for me to find time to record a video, edit it, and worry about the lighting and it looking decent. I’m probably going to go back to doing a podcast instead! I find this much easier to do, as I can record audio basically anywhere and it is easier for me to edit. 

Over the next few days, I’ll be working on uploading the two episodes I’ve done so far as well as recording more. They will have a dedicated tag that I will link on the side, and they will also be posted over on my Patreon page. I’ll also be making more use of my Patreon, uploading special Patron only Podcast episodes, special guided meditations, etc. I’d really like to take my blog and teaching to the next level, but I also have a day job that takes a lot out of me Monday through Friday. 

If you have any suggestions for episodes, or questions that you would like answered, leave me a comment below!

I Need to Say Something

I Need to Say Something

I don’t have a passion in life. Simply put. This might not be Wicca related, or it might be. I don’t know at this point. I’m basically writing this to get it off my chest because it is something that weighs very heavily on me most days. With my 27th birthday coming up in the next few days, that feeling is getting heavier. I’m not where I want to be in life and, growing up, it was always pounded into us that we should know what we want to be “when we grow up”.

Don’t get me wrong, I have a job that I’m good at that I even have a degree in. But none of that matters. That just proves that with hard work you can keep moving forward. I’m missing that spark in life. That thing that gets me riled up and excited. I’m stuck in a cycle of sleep-work-repeat and I don’t know how to get out of it.

There are things I enjoy doing, and I pick up an interest in other things along the way. Once I reach a certain point with those things, I begin to lose interest in them and they fall by the wayside. I want to eventually make a career out of the spiritual and crafty things I can do, but I’m also a person who is terrified of failure. So much so that if I won’t try something new if I know I won’t be good at it, or if I even think I won’t be good at it.

I can crochet really well. I can knit ok. I can embroider ok. I can read tarot ok. I can meditate ok. I can give great advice most times.

I’m just blabbering on right now, but I needed to get this off my chest. I haven’t uploaded a new video on YouTube in a bit because…well, I haven’t recorded one, because I want the content that I post to be worth posting. I don’t want to put out crappy content, and I’m not entirely happy with what I’ve uploaded so far. See, I’m a perfectionist, and it really sucks when I have so many things and ideas I want to do, but no real passion for any of them, no matter how much i enjoy doing them.

Anyways, thanks to the handful of you who will read this shit-post lol

Until we meet again,

Megan

Hot Air Balloons: A Metaphor for Life?

Hot Air Balloons: A Metaphor for Life?

Hot Air Balloons (1)

Recently, we went to the Bacon, Brews, and Balloons Festival here in Redmond, Oregon, and a thought struck me as I watched these hot air balloons inflate. I was also thinking about how scary it would be (for me, at least) to be up in a hot air balloon. Think about it, though. You can’t control where it goes once it is in the air. There’s no way to steer a hot air balloon and the only thing you can control is the altitude! A good hot air balloon pilot can plot out their course based on extensive review of the weather and wind maps, but that can all change relatively quickly.

It made me think about life’s course on the physical plane, and how we think we’re in control of everything, but most times we aren’t. The best made plans can (and will) fail at some point in your life, and your altitude (mood, reaction, etc.) will change. You may be cruising along at a steady pace, on course, with a good altitude, but something in your life comes like a rogue wind and knocks you off course. You can’t change the wind, but you can choose how you react to it.

A good hot air balloon pilot knows to stay calm throughout the rogue wind, and even though they may be knocked off course, they might find a better place to land or see a better view of the world below them. They don’t jam open the valve at full capacity and come crashing back down to the earth below them. They don’t panic. And neither should you. Instead, they radio to their crew and let them know what’s happening, where they’re headed now, and how they’re doing.

Life may knock you off course or ruin some plan you had for yourself or your family, but choosing how you react to the change will determine how it goes from then on out. Don’t deflate yourself to come crashing back down to earth. Don’t panic and forget what you know. Let the wind carry you when this happens. Get in touch with your crew, whoever that may be, and communicate with them, whether you need help or just to let them know how you’re faring.

Let the God and Goddess show you your new path.

Theme: Overlay by Kaira
All content is (C) Megan Black with Round the Cauldron unless stated otherwise. It may not be copied, reproduced, reprinted, or edited in any way without prior authorization in writing.